seeking

I just wrote a long paragraph that got erased. I thought I was being honest and pouring my heart out, but apparently the "powers that be" assume otherwise, because in the tech world my words just went "poof"! So, I'm going to try again, and this time I'm going to be transparent.

Here goes.

I am living a life like I never have before. I don't know what's five minutes ahead of me. I have certainly made plans, and all of them have fallen apart. I am learning that I need to stop trying to figure it out. I am getting messages from people I've never met in person, others that I haven't been in contact with in years, and others that I've recently communicated with long distance, and every single one of these people offer a piece of this crazy puzzle I've been trying to put together without having a picture to work from.

First of all the people that have come into my life. What can I say? I am totally blown away by their love and generosity.  This month in particular has been the biggest show of love I've ever experienced. These amazing beings are coming to me with such grace and sweetness. My needs are being met over and over in ways that I couldn't have possibly figured out if I'd tried.

I have this vision that has not only changed since the first time conceiving of it last month, but has also gotten clearer and clearer. At first I saw a healing center of great magnitude in the mountains near Aspen. I couldn't ever see it very clearly, and my feelings about it were distant. I just knew that was where I wanted to land. It has been home for me most of my life, and I thought that was where I needed to be finally. Is it still? I shake my head in wonder. I truly don't have any answers about that right now.

However, what I do hold as a very clear vision is something that came to me the other night. It was so vivid and so charged with emblazoned passion on my heart that I couldn't sleep. It was a remembrance of a vision I had seen back in 2004, and something I've put some energy into but not nearly as much as I'd like. Years ago I saw this retail store that I ran called Great Expectations. The items in the store were repurposed and painted chakra colors. Each item had words painted or sewn into them that had the vibrations set for just the right person. There were dresses with words sewn down the front or at the hemline or on the sleeves. A wooden garden bench was painted purple with green ivy leaves running down its legs and "Peace resides here." painted on the back. Every single item in the store was made intentionally for a specific vibrational resonance. People would walk in the store not even knowing they were looking for anything, and be drawn to a particular garment or household item. They'd sit on a couch, hold a pillow, wrap a scarf around their necks, or just lay their hands on a table scrolled with the word "love".

Almost a decade later I saw this vision again very, very clearly, but this time there were differences. One half of the store had a coffee shop with repurposed tables and chairs and some of the retail items. The other half of the store had tables for classes so people could learn how to do their own intentional creativity and a space for healing circles, poetry readings, acoustic guitar playing, tarot card readings, channelings, etc. Down a hallway were treatment rooms for healers -- sound therapy, energy work, shamanic journeys. I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. I've been working on making new pieces of fabric art with words in them and embedding in each piece the vibration of unconditional love. The times right now are shaky at best, and I'm experiencing a lot of people in the throes of turmoil because their worlds are falling apart, at least that's the way it seems to them. I'm making things that people can wear or see or hold onto that remind them that not only are they loved, but that they are love.

I can see how important a place like this is. I know my part in it. I just don't know who's a part of it with me or where the first one is going to be. So, I'm putting it out there, people. Those of you who want to join my tribe (or are already members of my tribe) and be a part of this new dream, let me know. A place in northern CA has been suggested to me, and I would love to make that happen. The people that I have grown close to out there have my heart. I know there will be a healing center there eventually, but I'm not sure it's to be the first one.

There's a saying that goes like this: "That which you are seeking, is seeking you." I think Rumi said that, but I'm not sure. In any case, I'm putting it out there that if you are seeking what I am, please let me know. I really am swimming in the unknown here, and I can feel things coming together. And I also feel that when they do come together they are going to do so in lightning speed.