Life is but a dream -- again

I had a little exchange on FB yesterday that I thought was fascinating. It was with a man I met at a metaphysical party. This is a man who knows and sees the world as it really is -- waves of energy that we conform into our own experiences. Yet, yesterday he went on FB boo-hooing about his heart being broken because of failed expectations. Someone else didn't live up to what he thought they would. I realized that those crazy expectations have always been at the root of my own discontent. People don't need to live up to my expectations. Who am I to dictate how someone else should act? Hm...it got me to thinking how beautifully the universe gave me the experience to see what was in me that needed some tweaking. Thank you, Daniel, for playing your part. You did it beautifully. What an amazing ballet this dance called life is.

And that's all it is. It's just a dance of energies.

Yesterday morning I got a message from Abraham/Hicks about -- well, I'll just copy and paste it here, because there's no way I can paraphrase it and still get the magnificence of the meaning across.

"When you croak, Oh, you'll be abundant. You say - Then I'll hardly need the money to pay the rent will I? (laughter). And we say it is energetic anyway, you see. Stop counting it as money in your bank account and start counting it as emotion in your belly.

Start counting it as vibrational alignment. Start spending the real stuff of the universe.

Spend the thought, spend the clarity, spend the vibration. Come in alignment with the energy that creates worlds. This is energy that creates worlds that we are talking about. It is much much bigger than what you call your economy."

This is how I feel about my own life now that I'm immersed in the internet. I'm creating worlds. As a writer I always felt that. My characters spoke to me constantly. I saw their homes, their towns, and their friends. I lived there with them as the books were being written. Sometimes they still remind me that they're still here.

As an artist I would get images in my head of what needed to be expressed in fabric and paint and while working on the pieces I'd know who was sending me the ideas. It was never anyone I knew in the physical world.

So, I've looked at the dichotomy of my physical/intangible worlds here and realized just how much more magnificent and rich the intangible one is. Everything is at my command. The bank account is really in the universe, the energy that I'm connected to, not in a building. And what really is a bank account besides dots of ink on paper when it shows up in the mail? There's no little vault in a bank building with my name attached to it, saying that this is my money sitting in here. There's nothing but my information on computer screens in banks around the world. That's all it is. We trust day after day that when we drive up to the bank we will get what their pieces of paper says belongs to us. But lately, that's not so sure either.

What is real? What is the same for us all? What do each of us sees that's identical to everyone else's sight? Is there anything at all? And we get upset when others don't agree with us. Why should they? They live in their own world, not ours. They're here just for a moment to interact with us, so we can rearrange our own dreams to fit into a perception that works for us. And then something else happens and our perceptions spring leaks. We can see the flaws in those misconceptions too.

It's all just energy. Energy that flows in waves. It's never the same. It never stops moving. Then why do we think -- ever -- that things will be what we think they are? Our thoughts are just the masses of what we form after perceiving our own what ises. And then we discover what we thought was is, is not. Oops, there it goes again, like a helium-filled balloon in the breeze. It's not meant to stay. Change is constant. Truth is undulating patterns of perception. There is no black and white. There is only gray. By the time I finish this draft, my perceptions will be tested again, and found to not be true again.

So, why not just be? Why not stop the madness of perceiving anything as I think it should be? Because the madness is why I came here. Home is blissful all the time. I chose manic craziness. I chose amnesia upon my return here. What was I thinking? I was thinking from a whole different perspective apparently -- the one that I was always safe and loved and provided for, that nothing, absolutely nothing could be harmful and all was perfectly in alignment with my source. That's where I came from, and when I arrived here, I forgot all of it. And now on this journey, I'm slowly remembering. I'm remembering who I really am, and what an illusion it all is. It is truly just a dream -- over and over and over.

Grab the popcorn and watch the show...

It seems forever since I last wrote a word in here. I've been engrossed in internet marketing and sex. I've been reading every email and blog about blogs. I've been listening on the phone while a friend tells me what he wants to do to me the next time we see each other. Somehow or another, the two have become intertwined and I see blogging as orgasmic. Hm... Or, is sex another form of internet marketing? How sexy can internet marketing be anyway? Think about that one the next time you're writing an article or a blog. Think about how juiced you could possibly get while focusing on driving traffic to a website.

Of course, knowing that someone is thinking about me right now while I write this also puts a different spin on the writing process. I'm not just thinking with my head. Can women do that? Can we have more than one head? Something to consider when your crotch directs your thoughts...

He's in another state working away, talking to clients, making phone calls, answering emails, writing up invoices and estimates, and driving his truck all the while thinking of how he's planning on ravaging me upon arriving in my town soon. He loves to call me and tell me what he's going to do when I come into the hotel lobby wearing the dress he bought me.

I was watching a YouTube video produced by the Leap! people about how we are all connected. Using a black dot with a white background, they show how there is nothing we are not connected to, how we are everything. So, using that line of thinking when my friend does his play-by-play action of what we will do together how exactly does it affect me? And if we are all connected, is it not me doing the thinking also? Is it not me conjuring up the fantasies and creating the sexual tension in both of us? And that would mean that the both of us is just one of us. That his fantasies are mine, that his desire for me is mine also. That his loving me is my loving myself, and my loving him is just one monstrous lovefest all around.

And -- if we're all connected, then when we conjure up these visions of how we are going to treat each other and we vibrate at that level of excitement, how does it alter the energy in the world? How does it affect people who resonate with that vibration?

I spent a week with James Arthur Ray learning about the world as an illusion. I see the world of the physical as waves of energy that I create with those who choose to participate with me. I create a dream where the actors and I have made agreements on how we are going to teach each other the lessons we are here to learn. I live this dream in full knowledge that those around me are only playing their roles, that they are truly bigger than they appear, and that the body suits they wear are only their costumes.

This thing we call life is only a play, a movie that we direct either consciously or unconsciously. And with this man in my life it has become so much more fun, more juicy, and more alive.

And if we are all connected, hasn't he always been here?