Last night my daughter and I were on Skype together, and I got to witness one of the most exhilarating experiences that as her mother I got to witness. She described to me a session she had with a client who had been in pain most if not all of his life. She showed me the energy waves she felt and how it had affected both of them. She had to stop talking several times because she was so moved to tears. Her face altered as she spoke and as she cried. She became right in front of me the angel being that she truly is. She opened her heart so freely and lovingly to another soul who blended his energy with hers to create this healing of great magnitude. I saw in her every difficulty, every tragedy, every remorse, and every painful experience morph into this light being that shone brighter than I ever thought possible. I watched this transformation, and it gave me not only hope that I could do this for myself, but it also gave me direction on how to do it.
She has been a master teacher for me from the first time I held her. I knew we were going to be on a ride of our lives back in 1980, but I had no idea that it would turn out like it has so far. She teaches me over and over how to let go and to trust in the moment, to trust in who I really am, and to allow that being to show up. I've allowed others to define my life and how I live it. I have been a people-pleaser, and let others determine for me my own living conditions and my work. I have watched my daughter meander through her own life, test-driving different personas until discovering the one that is truly hers. I watch in awe and gratitude for having a model from which I can learn. I see how the Universe bends over backwards to open doors for her when she's so presently in the moment and happy there. I see the doors slam shut that do not serve her, and I watch how she adjusts her own sails with expertise and grace. I watch her flow through the choices presented to her, following the signs that show up. She sifts through the feelings of wonderment and lets the detritus fall away.
What I most want to acknowledge in this post is the joy I felt as she described the natural process of bringing her gift forth and showering it with great love for another soul who had come to her bearing his pain and sorrow. She opened herself up and allowed that light we all have within us to merge with another's light and it raised them both up to a place they'd never been before.
The only way I see to uncovering that magic within is to be still and to excavate until I get down to that very core that is my true-ness, my connection to all that is, that light spark that shines every time I feel tremendous joy. It is in that moment that I recognize myself and every doubt disintegrates. It is that instant that my own light can shine, and it is my desire to allow those instants become how I live my life. Those joy-filled, over-the-top exciting moments allow me the expansive imaginings to create a life of creativity in which I can grow. I drop the pretenses of who you think I am because it's a road that dead ends, and it is so damn desolate there. I choose the path that leads to fulfillment, and that path lies within.