Thursday, March 25, 2010

Perfection abounds

Life is extraordinary. I live in the magic. I am the mayor of magic. I orchestrate a vortex that rounds it up and plants it at my feet over and over and over. People tell me all the time how magical my life is. I'm amazed when they don't see their own lives the same way because magic is everywhere.

I discovered how quickly it arrives when I let go of all expectations. When I just show up and shut up, when I am in gratitude and joy-filled, it shows up in truckloads.

I had one of the most magical times last week. Minding my own business, walking outside with friends when we were invited to someone's house. This was not any house and it was not just any person. Every time I turned my head there was more beauty and luxury and elegance. It was luscious and extravagant, a small palace for the mayor of magic. I must've drank a potion in his den because I was transformed if only for that one night to be a princess that he served with elegance and grace. The flowing melody of the music wafting through the room, the candles flickering by the windows, the expensive wine, the delicious company. It was all more than I could have ever imagined.

I hadn't been looking for anything or anyone. I just showed up, and lo and behold the perfection in the world abounded.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Priceless moments

Just finished my first video interview about my book and my art. It'll be posted on the web, so whenever I receive it, I'll make it available to all of you out there in cyberspace.

It was fascinating to talk about my life, what it used to look like, and what it's developed into. When talking about my marriage, it was such a distant past memory that it actually got confusing to me to recall it in detail. There were no details, just this vague sense of numbness, of being unworthy. So difficult to remember in times that I live in now. Now, I'm soaring. I go to the studio excited and thrilled and motivated and inspired to try a new technique or make something that a new client has ordered, or to figure out a way to produce something for the masses. Whatever it is, is always delicious and fun. This is wealth. This is riches, not my bank account, not my residence, and not my car. I carry my wealth with me. It shines outwardly. It's who I am.

The interviewer's name is Tina Ferguson. We're doing the radio interview this coming Thursday evening. There's something that sparks between the two of us. She filled in blanks for me that I didn't even know I had. We talked for hours. Discovering how much I've changed since being on my own really was an eye-opener for me also. Being able to look back and see the lessons with great clarity was awesome. And now it's on video. For someone who has no baby pictures of herself, this is a great experience. To have those revelations, those clear-minded moments caught by technology is priceless.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Thinking's overrated...

Just when I think I know something. I mean when I think I REALLY know something, the Universe brings me a lovely way of opening my world even more. Just when I think I know how something's going to work out or who I'm going to be with or where I'm going to be going or just anything, anything at all, I discover that none of it is true. I come back to the same conclusion: I know nothing. Truly. I know nothing.

A friend of mine in Australia tells me the same thing over and over: it's not what you think. It's never what I think. It never is. I need to stop thinking really.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

First Interview

I just sent in the information for my first radio interview about my book. According to the information that I was sent it will air on Thursday evening (March 18th) at 8 pm CST. It can be accessed via phone at 724-444-7444, Talkcast ID: 39674# and non-talkcast members press 1# after the talkcast ID. You can also go to It's Tina Ferguson's show, and my first of many interviews. I'm lining them up now as I type this.

Today is a mission on keeping myself focused on what I want. I mean a very conscious effort. Not that I don't do this anyway, but today seems imperative. It feels crackly, this energy. I don't know what to make of it, but what I'm discovering is that all that used to work for me is no longer working. At all. Not at all. I now must really work in this life, play in this world totally differently. How do I do it? How do I show up and be genuine when sometimes I don't even know who I am? There are mornings when I wake up I feel numb as if the person I was when I went to bed is no longer here and the person that wakes up is someone I need to get to know all over again.

The physical reality is so flexible and malleable to me. It doesn't seem nearly as dense and heavy. It feels like I can close my eyes and change it. I can sit still and breathe in the divinity that I am and the physical shifts. Suddenly a phone call or a person shows up, words are spoken that are answers to questions I didn't even know how to phrase.

This moment I focus on breathing in the calmness, the peace that I truly am. I am the eye of the storm. I am and that's all that matters.