My life erupts, catapults, excalates. It doesn't just gradually transform. I do massive movement. I enjoy speed. I intend ease and grace. Really, I do. I learned that from my shaman, Rob Wergin, but somehow or another ease and grace looks like volcanic eruptions. A dear friend of mine, Bee Herz, who I've just reconnected with (thank you, GOD!) told me that no matter what shows up, I fling the door open and usher it in. Fascinating concept. Looking back on life as a single girl, I have to agree with her.
I've said it before -- I'm a leaper. I jump without looking. I fling myself headlong because I can. I open my heart and love passionately because I know no other way now. I had lived a life of stagnation. I call it a 27-year marriage that looked like one day because every day felt the same. And now? It's as if when leaving that marriage, I left behind the cocoon I metamorphed out of and soared freely. Here's a list of some of the wild adventures I've participated in since being on my own --
1. knelt on Wall Street
2. made love in Manhattan
3. moved to the mountains
4. worked for a shaman
5. traveled to Aspen on a regular basis
6. gave blow jobs over the mountains in a private plane
7. did everything but intercourse in a restaurant in Steamboat (no, I'm not saying which one or with whom, but I'd be willing to do it again with him...)
8. ooh, this is a great one -- helped a "ghost" cross over
9. created a magnificent family
10. moved to McKinney, TX
11. discovered the internet
12. got back to writing daily
13. developed a career on my own
14. met corporate people in NYC I had been working with for years
15. co-piloted an experimental plane over the mountains
16. met many of John Denver's friends in Aspen
17. took a workshop with the magnificent Tom Crum
18. met James Arthur Ray and attended two of his events so far
19. had many experiences with men that will go down in infamy, at least in my memory
20. okay, I cannot leave this one out --I was enjoying myself in the back of my Subaru with my pilot at the Steamboat airport when a twin engine came barreling towards us since we were parked beside his hangar. With my pilot's naked butt in the air, we scrambled to locate clothing and with bare breasts flapping, I jumped into the driver's seat to zoom out of there before the plane parked right beside the car. This, my friends, is priceless. This memory stands out soooo much. We laughed our heads off after we got out of there. I could never drive by the Bob Adams Airport without thinking about it.
But, what I really want to talk about today is what happened yesterday. So, if you've read this far you'll now get the coolest juice.
I spent the day with a new friend of mine, DeDe Murcer Moffett, who showed me this virtual world that she and a team had created. I watched her move her virtual self around, flying, swimming, leaping, whatever she chose to do. This virtual world is exactly how this "real" world works. Her virtual self didn't know where she was going next or what she was getting ready to do. However, the "real" her was pushing the control keys on the keypad and made her swim, fly, walk, etc. What was interesting though was that even though DeDe was pushing certain buttons, her virtual self didn't always follow through. Hm, sound familiar? Our higher selves knows what's best for us, leads us towards the "right" path, but our conscious selves may choose a different way. And so the struggle continues...
It was just so mind-blowing that I haven't been able to get my mind on anything else. It reminded me of Dorothy on the yellow brick road thinking she was going to see the wizard, but instead, discovered the man behind the curtain. I feel like this has been my life. I grew up believing the world I lived in was one of absolutes and certainty. I was told that I could not break boards with my bare hand, or walk on hot coals without getting burnt. I was also told to get a degree, work for a good company, and then retire with a healthy pension plan. I was also led to believe that marriage was sacred and that there was no such thing as divorce. I discovered though that I could break a board like it was tissue paper. There is no security in the job market, and that a college degree doesn't guarantee you diddly squat. And truly, the biggest illusion/delusion was the marriage game. Marrying someone because I couldn't live without him was the biggest farce of them all. Not only could I live without him; I soared without him. My greatest breakthroughs have been these past 2 1/2 years on my own. I've discovered the fantastical illusory world that has been built around me, and as soon as I changed my perception, my world shifted.
And so it is with this virtual world. It exemplifies how easy it is to create everything that you want. You build your own house with ease. You want to go from one point to the next, you can teleport, fly, swim, heck you can even walk on water. When DeDe wanted something or to go somewhere she didn't wonder how she was going to do it, she just did it with full knowledge that anything was possible. She could walk through doors, which she did, when she wanted to get somewhere. No matter what she did she was okay. Whether she was under water, in the sky, or standing on the ground. She was okay. She was never in any danger. She was always provided for. Everything she needed was within her reach.
This, my friends, is the key to the kingdom. It's the knowledge that we can do, be, or have anything that we want -- ANYTHING. It's one thing to know it intellectually, but it's certainly another to embrace it emotionally. Yesterday I was able to embrace it because at one point I couldn't tell the difference between the virtual or the "real."
So, today is like a birthday for me. This is the new me at this moment. The me who recognizes for the first time the real unlimited potentialities. This is all just a hologram that we create. This is our virtual reality. No one else in the world is going to see things as you do. You have that uniqueness that no one else does. You came here to play. See the life you live as that virtual world, because that's exactly what it is. Pick the players you want to share your playground with, and enjoy them with blissful abandonment. Open your heart. Open your arms. Allow the eternal joy to flow in no matter what because you are creating everything before you. What a master you are!