McKinney Creative Community

John Denver has a song with the lyrics: "It's five o'clock this morning and the sun is on the rise." Well, I now know for a fact that at three in the morning, the sun is nowhere to be seen.

I decided to stay up all night to get a lot of work done that's been needing to be completed, so what better way than to get it done when everyone else is sleeping?

Well, just about everyone else was sleeping. Here it was still dark out and COOL, and I was just moseying around the square, checking out the new places and window shopping at the old ones when I turned the corner at Square Burger and saw the owner, Brandon, still working. WTF? Who is awake on the square at three in the morning??? (Okay, besides me...) He wanted to know what I was doing up. Trying to stay awake.

So today, Brandon let me know that when he left the square (sometime after we discovered we were probably the only two people awake at that time in the morning), he saw me standing in my daughter's office in front of the computer typing on the keyboard. "Do you know what time that was?" he asked me when I was in his restaurant at lunch.

Frankly, I didn't know. I was on a mission. I had work to complete, and, baby, I was getting it done. It felt good, and I love feeling good. I promised a man that I would send him 300 words a day on my next novel, and I was cranking those words out. I had an ecourse to catch up on, and I finished all the lessons. And today, I designed the commissioned work that was due and got it to my client. Sweet jesus! It has been a phenomenal day and night.

And right now I'm bursting with happiness. The girls here are laughing at my craziness because I can't stop talking and typing. Caffeine late in the day probably has something to do with that, as does lack of sleep.

So now, it's time to head home and shower. Way too many people have noticed I'm in the same clothes from yesterday. I'm getting dressed and even putting on makeup. (Yes, miracles do happen!) And then it's off to Cadillac's to snag musicians for the McKinney Creative Community. My friends, Tom and Silky Michero, told me today that our community needs to have more men, and musicians would be fabulous, and since I've been known to have a few of them in my life (male musicians), I'm talking to them about this new adventure.

There's a Facebook page called McKinney Creative Community, and anyone can join. We're beginning monthly potlucks in September so we can all come together and create a community of creative people. Right now there's all kinds of artists -- musicians, writers, painters, and we want to include anyone in the healing arts also. Who's not an artist? Who doesn't create a work of art with their own lives? Get creative, have fun, and join us for the time of your life.

Tom and Silky Michero working on plans for our McKinney Creative Community in Square Burger today at lunch

To Peter

I've had the most amazing week and a half, and I'm still here to talk about it. A whirlwind. An atomic blast. A tornado. And then a calm sea. Painfully, it took awhile for that calmness to show up.

I had a human experience that catapulted me into a black hole where I could do nothing more than surrender. It wasn't what happened to me that was so monumental; it was the craziness going through my head. Sweet jesus! How nuts could I make myself? So much so that I've had the runs for a week, and haven't eaten a full meal in that time either.

Something huge is headed my way. I can feel it. And I need to be made anew for the experience of it. I purged some very old, dry, unnecessary beliefs and flushed them down the toilet. What I know for sure right now is absolutely nothing. I awoke one morning feeling so fragile I thought I would break in two if someone looked at me funny, and then I got mad. I mean I got bursting at the seams mad because who I really am catapulted forth. I could see how huge and powerful I am, and how small I had been playing for so long. It was painful to be little and fragile and scared. It broke my heart open and love poured in.

I look at life with new vision now. I see the sacred in everything. I am in awe. I am grateful. I am so full of joy that it leaks out of my eyes.

I feel a change coming to me that is so big, so powerful, and so loving, that I had to grow to meet it. One of the things that came to me was words from a dear man on Facebook. I was crawling to the computer and using every spare ounce of energy I could muster to check the posts on my wall, when this showed up:

The primary purpose of everything created in my reality is only for it to be "experienced". The secondary purpose for any experience is the opportunity to learn a particular lesson that is unique to the experience "I" am having. It is MY experience and MY lesson...others have just agreed to play a part for us so we can "GET IT." When we don't "RESIST GETTING IT" we hold up the evolution of all participants.
--Peter Blake -- "The Drama Virus...how to remove the virus and love being human"

It was just an experience I had. That's all. The others were just playing their part so I could GET IT. How cool is that? How grateful am I for their participation? Finally, the breakthrough after the breakdown. Thank you, Peter. I breathed. And I still just breathe. Ah... and then there is peace. I'm reveling in it. I'm soaking it in, and this time I GOT IT. Really. I feel it deeply. There's still remnants of old thought patterns but they're fleeting (and fleeing). Mostly, I sit and marvel at my body's resilience, my spirit's insistence in showing up and being known, and my mind's flexibility. At least one layer of armor has dropped away.

So, to Peter, thank you for your words that I bathe in right now. Thank you for being that mirror that reflects back to me pure, divine love. Not only can I feel it, but I can touch it. In my most genuine way, I thank you for being there for me.

Flying Lessons

Several years ago I took up flying. I flew a Cessna 152. I'm taking flying lessons again, but this time it's an ecourse for creative business soaring. Hm, does that make sense? Well, it does to me. It's by an artist for artists. She's made a very nice income from her art and now she's teaching those who want to learn from her. I'm one of them. I've been following Kelly Rae Roberts for years and now I'm a sponge soaking up her business techniques. First thing, I am to write a letter to my future self, throwing out into the universe what I intend in my life. Here goes...

Dear Jill,

I love what you're doing with your life. I remember a time when you spoke out loud at a sustainable living conference in Snowmass, Colorado that you wanted your life to matter. You thought it meant that you had to do something to make it come true. Even though you know that it matters just because it is, you have turned that into a lifetime of legacies that will last forever.

Everything you touch, you touch with the energy of that unconditional love that you truly are. You feel it deeply. You exude it. People around you experience it easily. This is who you are and you're able to incorporate it into everything you make in your studio and every word you write on your computer. This is who you are. You are love. People feel it when they wear one of your garments or view a piece of your artwork. They are changed by your words, altered for the better. You, my love, matter. You need nothing because you already have it all. You have the love you seek because you are it. Everyone you meet mirrors back to you your own magnificence. You are whole and complete just as you are. All is absolutely perfect.

My greatest love and gratitude to you,
Jill

I'm sure that's not what Kelly Rae was thinking of when asking us to write this. She was specifically talking about the things we want in our lives, how we want to live and how we desire to do our business. However, the more I thought about my future life, my future me, this is all I could say. It doesn't matter what I do because who I am right now is enough. Is perfect. Is everything. I need nothing. I have it all right here, right now. I couldn't possibly ask for more because I already have it. It's time now for me to open my eyes to my greatness so that I may see the greatness in everyone else. It's time now for me to feel the magnificent love for myself so that I may feel it for others.

This, my friends, is flying high.

Just thinking...

There's just nothing like a porch and some chairs to get me to thinking. Really, it doesn't even take that. I think anyway, much to my chagrin. Thinking is way overrated. Thinking is truly the least productive thing I do. Thinking is what gets me into trouble most of the time. It leads me to judging people and coming to really stupid conclusions. Thinking trips me up when I'm in my studio. It prevents me from letting the flow of words come through easily or the creative ideas for fabric magic to occur.

The thinking that leads to conclusions then leads me to ending relationships. I am not one to hold onto baggage. I delete emails daily. I throw away easily, and I give away anything that hasn't been touched recently. I purge. I excavate and delineate. I think I must come from a long line of Shakers. I live simply and without clutter.

Now recent visitors to my studio may disagree with me, but if you only knew what I once held onto in my 1200 square foot studio, you'd know I had pared down greatly. Even the family I lived with in Steamboat would be surprised at how much I have purged.

I find that excess does not serve me well. I live lightly, unencumbered, unattached, and totally free to go wherever my heart leads. Right now it leads me here still in McKinney on the square with a new studio and a new place to sell my wares and my book. On the square. I love being able to say that. I wrote about a square in my novel and now I'm living that experience.

If it's all right now, all this moment ONLY, then how could I have possibly written it and then lived it? Didn't it all happen simultaneously?

I'm also discovering that all the men I've been with throughout my life are all interconnected. I look at one, and see another. I hear one's voice and hear another's. What does it mean? Because I think so much, I've come up with a conclusion. Since I'm the common denomenator, then all of them must be mirrors of me. Since I live in a universe that has this law of attraction, I must be attracting to myself physical reminders of all that I've been thinking.

This thinking that I've been doing has led to experiments that have led to changing my thinking, so that I concentrate more and more on only those thoughts that make me feel oh so good. This part has been fun. I've let go of more baggage. I've thrown away that suitcase that held my desire for control. I now have my hands free for enjoying the grip of an airplane yoke, the nubbiness of Dupioni silk, the soft texture of newly-washed puppy hair, and the absolute freedom of air flowing around and between fingers that have nothing to hold onto.

I've discovered how light air feels, and I don't give it much thought at all.

to my pilot

Thank you is not enough to express how grateful I am for my life, for my friends, my magnificent, glorious family of friends, and the most beautiful town in which I live. Thank you, Universe! I've always been a huge fan of wisteria but living in Colorado most of my life did not lend itself to my growing it. And now, ah, now I get to enjoy it profusely.

I am grateful for the air I breathe. I am grateful for the men who have showered me with love and amazing sensations. I am grateful for the women who have inspired me, pushed me, and loved me through it all. But this post is aimed at one person in particular.

My pilot.

All these years later I am still so very grateful for him believing in me when I had no idea what that felt like. I still love seeing me through his eyes. He opened my heart. He showed me my wings, and he taught me to fly in every sense of the word. He saved me just before I buried myself in a lousy relationship. He swooped in and held a mirror showing me who I really am. He showed me all the possibilities of what I could do and be and have.

And so, this is to the man in my life who still lightens my load, who still makes me laugh, who still creates amazing memories with me. I stand now holding a Corona in his honor.

To you, my love, to our teenage selves in Gunnison, to the dreams we had then, and the ones we're achieving now. To you, my pilot, I thank you because without your coming back into my life all those years ago, I would not be where I am today. I would not be who I am today, and I've never loved myself or my life as much as I do right now. I hope I've given back to you even an inkling of the joy you've brought to me.

Perfection abounds

Life is extraordinary. I live in the magic. I am the mayor of magic. I orchestrate a vortex that rounds it up and plants it at my feet over and over and over. People tell me all the time how magical my life is. I'm amazed when they don't see their own lives the same way because magic is everywhere.

I discovered how quickly it arrives when I let go of all expectations. When I just show up and shut up, when I am in gratitude and joy-filled, it shows up in truckloads.

I had one of the most magical times last week. Minding my own business, walking outside with friends when we were invited to someone's house. This was not any house and it was not just any person. Every time I turned my head there was more beauty and luxury and elegance. It was luscious and extravagant, a small palace for the mayor of magic. I must've drank a potion in his den because I was transformed if only for that one night to be a princess that he served with elegance and grace. The flowing melody of the music wafting through the room, the candles flickering by the windows, the expensive wine, the delicious company. It was all more than I could have ever imagined.

I hadn't been looking for anything or anyone. I just showed up, and lo and behold the perfection in the world abounded.

Priceless moments

Just finished my first video interview about my book and my art. It'll be posted on the web, so whenever I receive it, I'll make it available to all of you out there in cyberspace.

It was fascinating to talk about my life, what it used to look like, and what it's developed into. When talking about my marriage, it was such a distant past memory that it actually got confusing to me to recall it in detail. There were no details, just this vague sense of numbness, of being unworthy. So difficult to remember in times that I live in now. Now, I'm soaring. I go to the studio excited and thrilled and motivated and inspired to try a new technique or make something that a new client has ordered, or to figure out a way to produce something for the masses. Whatever it is, is always delicious and fun. This is wealth. This is riches, not my bank account, not my residence, and not my car. I carry my wealth with me. It shines outwardly. It's who I am.

The interviewer's name is Tina Ferguson. We're doing the radio interview this coming Thursday evening. There's something that sparks between the two of us. She filled in blanks for me that I didn't even know I had. We talked for hours. Discovering how much I've changed since being on my own really was an eye-opener for me also. Being able to look back and see the lessons with great clarity was awesome. And now it's on video. For someone who has no baby pictures of herself, this is a great experience. To have those revelations, those clear-minded moments caught by technology is priceless.