Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Letting Go

I just read this on my FB page: "Let go of your past and your past will let go of you."

Let Go has been my mantra for a while now. I don't hold onto things. I have revamped, reshaped, redesigned my life over and over and over. And, I am doing it again. Every day. Every moment. The more I read and study and meditate, the more I realize the importance of letting go, giving up the illusion of having control. I call it white knuckling life, holding on with a death grip as if my anxiety over the outcome of something will really change a thing. It never has.

So now I sit in tranquility in peaceful surroundings with beautiful beings and I breathe easily. I was taught years ago to live my life in ease and grace, and I feel I have slowly put that on the back burner for the last few years. I am uncovering the layers I've wrapped myself in and now discovering the space and inclination to spread my wings with love.

I want to say that I'm starting over, but that would be incorrect. I'm returning to who I really am. I'm living my life with wings unfurled and reuniting with some of my greatest teachers. I'm not going back as much as moving forward with greater maturity and deeper calmness. I think of those who journeyed with me in my Steamboat Springs, Colorado days, it seems that they are the ones who truly knew me most authentically because I created with them a space of growth in my own spirituality. The magnitude of layers that I cut through back then was only the beginning. I took what I had learned and experienced in my spiritual growth and set foot on soils that weren't so open to what I knew myself to be. I allowed my environment to mold me instead of the other way around because I was scared. Scared of the unknown. Scared of not fitting in. Scared of being "found out."

Well, I'm outing myself now so that being scared of that is no longer possible. I am a spiritual being that happens to be experiencing humanness. When I feel into who I really am there is no being scared. There is no need. There is only the known, and that is love, love beyond words and imagining. I have packed my bags again to set out on the next leg of my journey called life. I am unencumbered and full of peace. That's not to say that scared moments don't creep in, because they do. This time however, peace is at the ready. I just breathe it in and remember who I am. The details fall away. The happiness factor revs up, because as I look back on all that has unfolded so far I can't help but relax in the momentum that propels me forward. The people that have showed up in my life and the assistance they have given are beyond my wildest imagination. I let go of being in control, and let the doors open. I allowed the Universe to bend for me. I am grateful beyond words. This next step, whatever it is, I will take with a smile on my face.

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