Tuesday, December 31, 2013

walking in familiar foot prints

I am saying goodbye to 2013 with gladness and looking to 2014 with such excitement and wonderment. I awake every morning fascinated to see what shows up by breakfast and then what unfolds as the day progresses.

I am no longer in Oswego, NY with the partner I had for three years. I am no longer surrounded by tie-dye, fabric, threads, and choking on no space to sit (except my sewing chair). For the past three weeks since being on my own I have had room to breathe, room to grow and expand, and just plain room to put my feet up and relax. I have no one but me to answer to. I sleep at night in peace and quiet. I stretch out in bed. I read as late as I want. It is freeing.

So, here I am beginning this new journey and shutting the door to the past one without looking back. I rarely even think of the life I had in Oswego. I am so focused on where I am going that looking back is not even tempting. I visualize my feet being placed in the footsteps I've already taken as I step forward into the Jill I've been waiting to become.

The time is now for me to show up authentically, spiritually, and lovingly. I feel my people calling me home, and when I think of life there in the mountains my eyes tear up. This time I'm going back so that I can finally do what I've been waiting lifetimes to do. Ah... it feels so right. I spread my wings easily and am able to soar unhindered.

What do I want in 2014? Peace. Harmony. Opulence. Luxury. Fun. Laughter. Being with my people. I have missed that most. For three years I have been without my tribe. I am used to being surrounded by many like-minded people, and here I've found less than a handful. As grateful as I am for them, I have longed for the spiritual connections I've had previously. I love the deep conversations about things I've rarely spoken of here, and now that I've made the break, I do nothing but speak of what I've missed. I listen to guided meditations. I do ceremony whenever possible. I feel the energy I used to take for granted and am now relearning how to use it like I used to.

I've reconnected with spiritual friends all over the continent. And, I feel my tribe coming back together. I feel the bonds growing, the love expanding, and the excitement building. There are several of us now wanting to work together. Right now the intentions and holding the space for this beautiful healing center have expanded. These beautiful beings from my past are coming forward and meeting me, encouraging me, and loving me. With just minutes before the new year begins I feel so very blessed. I feel so supported and unconditionally loved. I forgot how extraordinary that is. I'm walking in those foot prints I made long ago back to where I belong, and I know the struggles that I've gone through have put me in a place right now that serves me better than anything else ever could. Right now I step forward without looking back, and I say yes to what I'm walking towards. I run towards it because I've already waited long enough. It's there in the mountains waiting for me wondering just what it was that has taken me so long.

All the puzzle pieces have come together now, and it is time to begin anew.

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