Wednesday, January 1, 2014

wish granted

I just finished looking at a friend's pictures on Facebook. There were pictures of her and her lovely husband at her brother's wedding, in Paris, partying with friends in her town, gatherings in her beautiful home, pictures of her husband and their animals, their backyard in bloom and harvesting vegetables, and so much more.

When I first met this woman I was drawn to her vitality for life. Even more than that though, I was drawn to her story. I paid attention to her words. I noticed how she deliberately focused on what she wanted and saw how it all came to pass. Her heart was open for new adventures with a new man in her life, traveling the world, learning new art techniques, exploring all possibilities with wonderful friends and family members. She is beautiful. She is talented. She loves with such an open heart and amazingly kind words, so it is no wonder that she drew into her life an exceptional partner with whom she has blossomed.

Since I don't live in her town anymore, I still get to see her life through Facebook pictures and posts. It's such an inspiration to me to see her life continue to get better and better. She's traveling all over the world delving into fine food, making new friends, exploring new territory, and discovering new ways for her to create art. I look at her pictures and feel the joy. I embrace it. I welcome it into my own life.

I have seen other friends in this town grow exponentially too since I left. They've attracted exceptional partners into their lives. They've created healthy incomes for themselves, and the lives I see them experience are so filled with joy.

They are my mirrors. I was with them a few months ago. Without even realizing it then, I soaked in their happiness, the carefree-ness that their soaring incomes allowed for them, and the mutually loving and respectful relationships they had developed since I saw them last. Those experiences with them altered my own desires in my life. I wanted more, and even then I was suppressing those desires. It wasn't until just a month ago that those longings came to the surface and spit me out of the situation I was in.

I truly thought I was happy, and I have to admit that I was happier than I had been in a while, but the longer the relationship the less joy I was feeling. Sure sign for me to notice, and I did. I felt trapped though. Where would I go? How would I do it? My own income was rising. I was finally making some decent money doing what I loved, but it was all going to my partner who was in charge of paying bills. I had been okay with giving him all my money until I realized he wasn't so happy allowing me to have full access to his. I felt the urgent pull inside me that told me that this situation was very uncomfortable. I worked all the time, and the money went into his account. Hm... good lesson for me to learn, and I learned it fast. I packed up and left when I realized that I was not experiencing the freedom I so desired.

What I discovered was that when it got uncomfortable enough I chose better for myself quickly. However, not quickly enough for the universe to not hit me upside the head with a cosmic 2 x 4. I still needed outside verification that the move out of that relationship was imperative if I wanted to have what I desired. A feisty young woman was sent to get in my face to tell me what I needed to do next. She didn't even know what she was doing or where the words came from but everything she said was exactly what I needed to hear to propel me forward.

Just days before that I got a "hit" (as I call it) from the universe. While meditating I was told who was going to be beneficial in my move forward. It truly struck me like a knock upside the head. I knew at that instant that my life had just shifted, and I better do something about it before the knock got a bit more tangible. When I didn't move fast enough, the feisty young woman stepped in. Two days later I was living in a different town, where I am now awaiting the rest of the puzzle pieces to connect so that the next leg of this journey can begin.

In the meantime I'm discovering more about myself. I'm learning what no longer works for me, and not only that but what I really want in my life and how good it feels to have it. Before I would have felt guilty or sinful to want this, but now that I've lived in austerity for three years, I know that guilt about wealth is false. This world is my playground. I create what I get to play in and with whom I get to play. I choose opulence. I choose luxury. I choose ease and grace. I choose to be of tremendous service to multitudes.

While staying here in a friend's house while she is away, I'm sifting through my experiences and collecting those memories I want to keep as inspirations for what I want next. Those moments of true joy and deep laughter are filed in the "to keep" folder. Those moments where I felt deep love and true connection stay on top of that folder. Everything else gets put into the folder labeled "learning experiences."

I've learned a lot. I treasure myself more. I believe in me. I step forward with greater confidence than I've ever had because I see what I've been through and who I've become because of it, and I am thrilled who has shown up as me. I love the friendships I've cultivated. I love the contrasting experiences I have opted out of choosing love, grace, and ease instead. Life does not have to be hard. I can live in an area that fills me instead of weighing me down. I can be who I know myself to be and feel uplifted and value in that.

On this first day of this new paradigm called 2014 I proclaim my new life as something I have deliberately created and am still creating with joyful focus and admiration for the universe for bending, twisting, and moving mountains to accommodate my every desire. I see how some things are coming together, and I am in awe of the magical unfolding. There is a lot I know nothing about and I relax into it. My new address is the unknown. It's where the miracles happen. I visualize my new life and bask in the revelry of all the greatness and utter bliss I feel. What lies ahead for me is the best life I've ever encountered filled with magnificent beings that I've waited lifetimes to be with and to work with in the mountains that I have always called home. I am excited in the anticipation of all my wishes being granted.

1 comment:

  1. Wow, Jill. All of your wishes will be granted because you will wholeheartedly allow them in!!!