Thursday, November 11, 2010

a wonderful life

In a previous "lifetime" when I was doing energy work, I had an intuitive tell me that my work came from the void, the nothingness, the zero point field, and it was a way for me to go back there. She said that doing energy sessions for other people was not the purpose of this. The purpose was for me to go there, to dwell in that zero point field.

That was just a mere four months ago, and since then I've moved twice and gone back to what I used to do -- art. When this intuitive told me this, I remember thinking that I wanted to do nothing more than these sessions on other people, but now I see that it really was about me going into that field, that zone, whatever you want to call it. Now, I feel it all the time. I don't have to "go anywhere"; it is me. It's the energy I've always been.

So now I can do anything I want and the energy becomes part of it. I can take a break from the physical world and see so much more clearly and be peace. I can listen to conversations about Verizon phones and how irate the customer was, and not feel part of it at all. As a matter of fact, it's almost as if I can "watch" the words float by me like leaves falling from trees. It really is that insignificant.

What's really fascinating to me is my ability to adjust to a world that is so unlike one I've ever lived in. Technology is almost totally out of my life, except for this computer. What it has done for me is to become so much more a part of the physical world. I walk wherever I want to go, therefore I am making contact with the ground, looking at the landscape more closely, talking to people I pass, and exercising outdoors. I've been in Taos for almost three weeks and I can't even count how many people I know already and how many solid friendships I've cultivated. I told Tammy that I feel like a magnet with arms open wide walking down the street, collecting all that is lovely and beautiful and peaceful. A walking magnet of money, of love, of peace. The peace part is my favorite. Just sayin'.

Is it possible to live in peace here all the time? As much as I want. How's that? As much as I allow. As much as I choose. Ha! There are so many opportunities for me to experience anything other than peace, and after each little episode, I go back to peace. I just can't imagine not wanting peace to be my permanent address. However, I do know that change is inevitable, so let's see where I go next. I certainly showed up in New Mexico thinking that I would do only energy work and would be living in Santa Fe. I also thought I'd have a car and... And now I'm dreaming in tie-dyed fabric. What the...? I wake up with what I can do next with the items I accumulate. Last night I was working on a dragonfly that I cut out of a t-shirt (not one that you gave me, Dan) and stuffed it with ground-up sage I picked from my backyard. I'm learning to use everything at my disposal instead of buying anything I think I need. I used to spend up to thousands of dollars per month on supplies, travels, classes, etc. and now I look at what's around me and how I can make it into something else. My form of alchemy.

I was just informed that I'll be going to work in the store today. I have my bag of goodies to transform into something magical. And when I'm done, when I'm completely satisfied with whatever I make, I plan on sending them to NY. I promised I would send dragonflies last August, and here it is months later, and it's dragonflies that consume me. Dragonflies out of paper, out of t-shirts, glued onto silk, made out of paper towels and glue... It's been a very long time since I've been so enraptured with art. It's interesting to me that when I finally have no supplies, I am creating like a mad woman. I forage the yards around the house. Here in Taos, the different textures, scents, and colors abound. They are prolific. I live in the midst of the most abundant supply store possible! This has caused me to stretch and expand what I thought was possible. Sometimes I feel like a scientist without the beakers. My lab is acres and acres of sage. My ingredients do not foam or boil over, but they do make dragonflies smell nice.

This has truly been a very trying time letting go of all my old beliefs and misconceptions, but slowly coming out on the other side, I've been able to see the plethora of miracles that surround me. Last night when Tammy came home, she brought groceries for a dinner she made for both of us. Every morning when I wake up fresh coffee is waiting for me. I am privileged to work in a store on the plaza selling art, and I get to go there today. Yay! I get to talk to all the tourists that come in from all over the world. I listen to other languages. I hear how people live. I'm able to travel all day long as they describe their lives. When I'm not talking, I get to work on my own art. I dig through my bag of silk scraps, feathers, markers, cardboard, yarns, etc., and I get to turn those ingredients into something else. Wow, it's a wonderful life.

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