Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Does place matter?

Years ago I was asked if place mattered, if a place could make you happy. Now, I don't believe anything outside myself is responsible for my happiness. I do know that certain people or situations can certainly broaden my smile, and other experiences can make a smile difficult to form. However, if I were not human ever, then I'd have to say place or anything else did not matter at all because I could be happy all the time no matter what.

I just happen to be human also. I have some very human moments, and just what a kick they happen to be.

What I've been discovering is just how unnecessary it is to get dramatic about how things look. For instance, Tammy and I no longer have phone service today. I smile anyway and want to see how clever the universe is in getting me the information I am to know today. God knows, the one thing the universe does not need to communicate with me is a phone. I'm waiting to hear from a future employer, but it won't be by phone now. I have some of my artwork at a new store, and the owner was going to call me today about selling them there. Well, it won't be by phone.

This has offered me another opportunity to be less available in the "normal" channels. I won't go into why the phone was disconnected because every human involved with the situation has a different story, and the stories don't matter. None of the stories matter. None.

So, back to a place making me happy... I moved to Taos only knowing Tammy. Why did I move here? Don't know that one completely, just know that it felt good. It still feels good. It feels right. I look back on who I was being in McKinney, Texas, and I not only don't recognize that person, but I truly don't like the memories I have of her.

I used to party a lot on the square. There was always drinking and eating going on there. That's what we did. At the end of the day it was always about where we were going to go that night and who we were going to drink with. That's how I remember it. I haven't had a sip of any alcohol whatsoever since my birthday party in late September. I didn't drink much in Steamboat Springs, Colorado where I lived before arriving in McKinney. As a matter of fact, I don't think I drank like that since I had been in college.

Steamboat and Taos have both been very spiritual places for me. Taos even more so. The level of art is escalated here. I feel that goes hand in hand, at least it does for me. My art is a form of spirituality for me. It takes me to a place I can't go to in any other way. What's interesting though is that I moved out here with no art/sewing supplies whatsoever. I keep stripping down my material life. It's fascinating because I'm learning how to live life totally differently. I thought I was going to come out here and do energy work and not be an artist when what I have done is use my energy in my latest art creations. My energy here is so profound that it knocks me off my feet sometimes. The energy in Taos is palpable. I feel the shift in my own energy since moving here. I'm discovering that this is the case with most people. What takes people years to transform in other places occurs here within days. That's how it's been for me.

Does Taos make me happy? I make me happy. Taos resonates with my energy though. Taos and I are one sometimes. I don't need to do energy work here. I am an energy billboard here. No matter what I do or say or have or be, I am all that's necessary right here, right now. I have it all within. I've never felt this way until moving here. It's a complete package of peace and tranquility wrapped up so nicely.

When I explain to people here how I've been feeling, they nod their heads. They tell me welcome home. They embrace me. This is something I've not experienced before. I used to be very careful with what I said because I was tired of the strange looks or the constant questions. Here, I hardly even finish a statement when the person I'm speaking with agrees with me. Sometimes I can't finish a sentence because it's just not necessary. Words aren't always essential here. It's the unspoken understanding, the smile, a gentle hand on the shoulder, that makes me realize that this is the only place I can be right now for the growth that I've gone through, the relationships I've developed, and the peace I've embodied. With everything stripped away, I can only see the trust I have in the Universe. I am totally taken care of with or without a phone. Phoneless, I must put myself out there to talk to those I need to face to face. What a concept! I have to look in their eyes while giving and getting information. I make connections with them that I couldn't possibly do on a phone or through emails.

My life here has centered around human contact while totally sober. I've learned to adjust my body to the different energy here. I feel things so much stronger. I feel people who aren't even here physically. And in Taos, those feelings are normal. I don't have to explain myself here. I am where I belong right now. I have the prospect of having a future boss that is phenomenal in the loving people department. I have the ability to go to work and not have a single thing matter as much as radiating compassion and understanding to every single person I encounter. This is what I'm here for right now. This is all that matters at this moment. To love no matter what. It's really easy to love when I'm being loved, and now I'm doing it when the" being loved" is disguised as something else.

So today begins another new way of showing up in this fantasy called life. I've adapted to not having a car, and now I'll do it with a phone that acts as a timepiece. I am grateful. I am just so grateful to see how beautifully the magic will unfold today.

And, yes, place does matter.