I have never felt so out of control in my life. I mean this in a really great way. I think...
I moved here to Taos last Tuesday. I moved in with a man I hadn't ever met before. We're doing a house share. It's a beautiful home -- three bedrooms, two baths, sunroom, adobe home with guest house. It sits in the midst of health care facilities of all kinds. Natural landscaping on the three acres with foothills in the back yard... How amazing that is to me that it's so surrounded by what could be considered such high volume traffic areas, and also nestled into nature. There's a panoramic view of the mountains. Over the weekend I was able to sit at the dining room table and watch the balloon festival from several windows.
Last week was this really cleansing week where I expunged long-held beliefs and emotions and god only knows what else. And today is All Soul's Day. Today my soul gets a day dedicated to itself. And today my soul is really letting me know who's in charge, and it just ain't me. Today is a whole new life. Today is just new, and so full of more than I could ever imagine that I just need to stop imagining what I think it could be.
Here's what I know for sure. So far. Tammy got a job writing health articles for the local paper this morning. She thought she was going in to do some bartering work and ends up with a paid position.
I'm going in for an interview this afternoon with a business that's within walking distance of my house. It'll be a full-time position, and I still have time to work with Tammy on our raw foods business. I also have my artwork in three different stores in town, and payday is today. Yay!
Today is the last day of the first week we've lived here. I've never been through so much in such a short time in my life. Emotionally I've been put through the wringer. However, who I am today is so much more than the person who first arrived in Taos last week. And for that I'm grateful.
Tammy has been a wonderful example to me of someone who is at ease with letting go and knowing she's okay no matter what. I see now why last week was so tough on me. I was clinging so tightly. I wanted things and people to look and act a certain way, and none of it went according to my plans. And then I got to experience what it felt like to let go of all those crazy notions. I know I'm perfectly fine just where I am. No one or no thing has to be a certain way for me to be okay. I am perfectly positioned in my life right now with everything I need, everything I could ever desire. It's all right here, right now. It's beautiful. This is paradise, knowing that no matter what shows up, no matter what it may look like, I am in the right place at the right time.
Tammy, I raise my mug of water to you this morning. Thanks for being on this trip with me. Thanks for letting me see what such an open heart full of love looks like. You are an inspiration to me, and this is just the beginning.