Sunday, August 29, 2010

Time to leap

I'm moving to Santa Fe on 9/11/10. It's exciting, exhilarating, thrilling, and also very sad. You see, this is the first time in my life that I'm moving away from a place that I love and more importantly people that I absolutely treasure. Tonight was one of those nights that brought it right home to me.

After working all day I went out with a dear friend to have some beer at Churchill's, a local pub on the square. To my wonderful surprise I got to see someone I am truly so in love with. I just look at him and my heart melts. I call him my son, but his real name is Aaron. I wasn't expecting to see him tonight, but it broke my heart open to have him wrap me in his arms and hold me close when I told him I was moving. I told him I'd be back several times before I left, and next time I'll bring my camera. I want pictures of us together to take with me.

This place, this square holds my heart nicely. I walked past the MPAC, the large building in the middle of the square to get to my most favorite place here, Square Burger. I had to see Brandon. I told him that I would stop by every day before I left. Holding him made my heart break open even more.

I love easily. To me there's so much to love, so many to cherish, and I'm betting that in the next two weeks, my heart busts open a little more each day to make room for all the love I feel for these people right here in McKinney.

I'm leaving two months shy of being here two years. I'm still in disbelief that I would consider leaving here, but there are so many doors opening for me elsewhere. I am driven to move on. This time I will not say good bye. This time it won't be celebrating seeing McKinney in my rear view mirror. However, seeing the Rocky Mountains through my windshield will be exhilarating. I'm moving towards something so thrilling to me that there are times I can't sleep at night. I believe in a world so full of magical possibilities that I can't wait to see what lies ahead, so I'm moving towards it. I'm showing up in a world I've only seen once before a couple of days ago. I'm arriving with what I can bring with me, and I'm throwing open my arms and welcoming in the new adventure, whatever it may be.

This will be my third move in four years. In my childhood I lived in the same house from third grade until high school graduation. While married I lived in the same town from 1980 until I entered singledom in 2006, so you see I'm used to be settled in for years. I'm used to having one day look the same as the next until I moved to Steamboat on 9/11/06. Life hasn't been the same since.

And now a new venture lurks on the horizon. Again I'm packing up my stuff, and with each move there's less to take to the next place. This is the first move I'm making without a big truck and big boys. This time I take me and the few essentials. This time I travel light. This time I take with me the most important piece of the puzzle -- me, everything else is extra.

I go to Santa Fe willingly. It's not where I thought I'd be next, but it's the place for me to be next. I need to be in an environment that embraces my work, and a place where I can easily, with no man distractions, build my practice. This isn't a time for me to heal so much as it is a place for me to grow, expand, and really soar. It's time for me to stop making noises and step up to the plate. It's time for me to show up as the person I've always wanted to be. It's time for me to love so fully, be so ripe with possibilities, and spread my arms wide to welcome it all in because I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that magnificence awaits me.

It's time to leap.


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