Thursday, October 28, 2010

chop wood, carry water

For the first time I'm alone in the house. There's embers glowing in the fireplace. The mobile on the front porch is still. Coffee's brewed, and a raven flew past the window. I hear the humming of the refrigerator and the keys on the computer, and that's it. Silence otherwise. I've been chatting with a friend of mine who's in Aspen til Friday. I just saw a video on Facebook of Jimmy Stewart reading a poem he wrote about his dog named Beau. Back in 1975 I went to visit Aspen and stayed with a college friend who had a dog named Beau. I still have a picture of Beau. Got to love that dog for the weekend, and have gotten to love his owner for years.

I went to Aspen for many reasons that weekend, one of them was to see John Denver. I did see him, and then in 2006 I met and worked with someone who had been a very good friend of his, and he was the one I had been chatting with this morning.

I've always had a love relationship with Aspen, and to be able to hear about the goings-on this morning was priceless. I could see the mountains, the snow, the highway down the Roaring Fork Valley, the brick pedestrian mall...

Aspen, my dream winter wonderland. I used to go there when I couldn't take my life anymore. I would drive to Aspen/Snowmass for a reprieve, and then be able to go back to what I left behind until I could go back no longer. I thought I'd move to Snowmass after living so long in Boulder county, but instead ended up in the northwest part of the state. Interestingly enough, I did end up going to Aspen several times to work with my employer. I met new people and fell in love with it all over again.

Will I be going back again? Who knows? I never thought I'd end up in New Mexico either.

I chop wood, carry water now. I just be. This is home for now. This feels right, right now. The ability to chop wood and carry water is exhilarating really. It moves me, literally. I move, and I accept whatever's on my plate at the moment. I am so grateful for whatever shows up because whatever it is, I know it is more than I could've imagined.

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