Thursday, October 14, 2010

today, still?

I've been sort of here today. This morning was spent on the computer writing like a fiend. Tammy and I have so many projects in the works now, and so many lovely, wonderful things to do together. What's been interesting is that when I got done, pulled out my earbuds where Native American flute music was serenading me, and then looking around the room at Tammy and our laptops, it was a whole new world. I didn't know where I was. I didn't know how long I'd been there. I looked at the dining room table, the neighborhood outside the window, the ravens flying overhead, and at Tammy as if I'd never seen any of it before. I spent the rest of the day with great difficulty just being in my body. It felt as if the real Jill had checked out completely and had already moved to Taos. I was needing to just catch up with her.

After "struggling" to be aware of my surroundings all day, I'm so wiped out because so much was released today -- old beliefs, nonsense about myself, relationships with money and men. Just old crap that hasn't served me. Boom. Gone. And now I'm spent. I had dinner, took a shower and have been in bed typing on the computer and listening to my Native American flute music.

We're headed to Taos in the morning. I told Tammy tonight that after our little over a month stay here in Santa Fe we have gone through more transformations than in all of our lifetimes. I don't even recognize the woman I was before coming here. Now, it's time to celebrate. Now, it's time to kick up our heels a bit and enjoy the new Tammy and Jill Show. It's been a roller coaster ride these past few weeks, and it's time to commemorate us, our willingness to go down the paths we've chosen, to do the things in life most don't do, and the amazing growth and expansion that has occurred because of it.

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